Inspired

It is 2 minutes after midnight on the last full day I will spend in Siena, Italy for a long time, potentially forever.  What a thought.  I have mixed feelings.  While Italy has been everything I had dreamed of and more, including, but not limited to: pizza, pasta, Colosseum, Trevi Fountain, Christmas lights strung outside, vineyards, rolling Tuscan hills, markets; I still miss home, though I'm not entirely sure where my home is (Lexington, VA?  Littleton, CO? Rio Rancho, NM?).  I miss being able to complete simple tasks such as grocery shopping without feeling like a bumbling idiot.  I also miss a dollar being worth a dollar instead of 67% of a euro.  So, with that in mind, and with a little inspiration from a blog written by a talented friend of mine that holds similar values, I decided to push through, speak a little bit more about Rome (THERE'S JUST SO MUCH!) and hopefully catch you up to my current adventures, after all, in just over 48 hours, I will be leaving this country for about a year.

OK, so THE Vatican City!  The smallest country in the world, with a population around 1000 people.  Did you know, you can only live in The Vatican City if you work for the Church?  Also, inside the walls of the Vatican, there are no taxes, but there are (oddly enough) bars.  The Vatican City has the greatest fortune of any country (or so our tour guide said, I think).  So I guess we should start with meeting our lovely tour guide outside the foot locker on a corner near the Vatican, just moments after an attempted (and failed) pickpocketing experience.  See, our group had to pay the fee for the tour in cash, which we were all short on.  So naturally, we meander on over to potentially the sketchiest pair of ATMs in Rome to withdraw large amounts of cash.  But, this bold young group of Americans did have the foresight to create a wall of bodies around the person withdrawing money so no one could rob, mug, or take them.  However, that didn't really stop this one pair of people (a co-ed team) from trying.  They sketchily stood next to us for a few minutes, and then when we said that there was a nearby ATM open, they meandered on over there, to be followed, seconds later, by complaints from a person about being pick pocketed.

So, in one of our less thought out moves, we offered to pay our tour guide up front.  She seemed friendly enough.  But, she was too smart for that, as her mother told her "never take cash on a street corner."  Granted, her motherly was likely warning against other behaviour, but it served us well just the same.  We were shortly joined by about 20 other people, a few were buddy groups from different countries out to experience Rome, a few were couples on Romantic get-aways, but none were going to stop me from being right next to our tour-guide who we will call Maggie, since we never did get her real name.  (Also, just know that as I type this, I am thinking it with a British accent since Maggie's was so thick, that it was contagious.  Seriously, this whole paragraph, British.  Colour!  See, it's even spreading to my spelling). 

This is the piece, Mikey signed.

Flash-forward to inside the Vatican walls.  We first visited the art gallery.  Built by Pope something in 1937, it houses some of the greatest works of art.  We got to walk through the halls, in chronological order (the only thing on the tour that actually went in order).  First, we saw a statue that Michael Angelo carved when he was 19.  It is the only piece of art he signed.   Why did he sign this one?  Because when it was debuted, noone believed he did it.  It was attributed to some other guy from Niece.  So Mikey snuck in to the Vatican and carved his name into the statue so people would know it was his.  He was in such a hurry, he misspelled his own name!  He had to go back and carve a tiny N inside the G (granted that doesn't exactly spell it right, but hey points for trying).  We saw some Medieval art (it's terrible, even Maggie thinks so).  We saw how art evolved, slowly people brought back techniques from Ancient Rome, drawing stairs in 3D, drawing people in 3D.  Drawing people dynamically.  Using fresco!  Now let me tell you, Fresco sounds miserable!  You have to layer on some plaster, then really quickly paint it before it dries (which in the summer could be a mere 20 minutes or so).  But, if it didn't dry for a long time, as was the case the first time Mikey attempted the Sistene Chapel, it can grow moldy and you have to start all over again.  Tradeoff is, though, that it's much more permanent and looks really good for much longer, except when people try and remove the fresco from the building to put it in a museum, then it cracks.

Forgive the poor quality, I was still figuring out how to work the camera.

  This is the wrong arm.

Moving from the hall of art, we moved to a statue garden.  Some of the greatest statues of history are kept here (they, along with many other great pieces of art, were typically rescued from stupid places like from being a work bench, or the bottom of a stool, etc).  One statue was rescued, but the right arm was never found, so some Pope said hey you two (Mikey and some other guy) build me another arm for this statue, I want it whole.  So the other guy sculpts the arm stretched out, but Mikey sculpts it in this rather odd position, angled back to the head.  And, surprise!  A few hundred years later when the real arm is recovered, guess who was right?!  Our boy Mikey!  Fortunately he was dead when this was discovered because otherwise his ego would grow so large he'd be stuck in the Sistene Chapel, which, by the way, is named after Pope Sixus. 

This is the original arm.

Poor quality pic of Raphael's awesome piece.  But notice the light and dark.

And as much as everyone loves Mikey, I must say, I'm partial to Raphael (and no, I'm not just naming of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles).  Raphael was a contemporary of Mikeys, but was a few decades younger.  They met, at one point, when the Pope called them both to the Vatican to compete for title of best artist in the history of the universe (OK, not the actual name of the competition, but it was a competition).  So Mikey goes off and does the Sistene chapel, reluctantly, and Raphy goes and does the beautiful piece of art.
He dies, shortly thereafter due to syphilis and poor medicine (he came home one night after "partying" too much and after he didn't wake for a day or so, his buddies called the doctor, who decided to cure his exhaustion by blood letting, which only fatigued him more, i.e. killed him).  The general consensus it that the Sistene chapel is way cooler than this painting, but I'm not so sure.  If Raphael hadn't been such a playboy, I think he would have out done Mikey.

We saw a bunch of other stuff that was wroth insane amounts of money, some type of red marble that is, pound for pound, worth more than gold, 80% of which is owned by The Vatican.  Nero's tub which is stupidly large.  And then, we nervously entered the Sistene Chapel.  We were instructed to not take pictures because: "The Sistene Chapel was a functioning church for hundreds of years.  After centuries of burning candles, the ceiling and walls were covered in wax and soot.  Restorations needed to be made, and in order to finance these, the Catholic Church sold the copyrights to the Sistene Chapel, and all the images therein, to NBC.  Yes, that's right, you get yelled at by the Vatican camera nazis if you're taking pictures, not because it's bad for the art, but because the National Broadcasting Company has the rights.  Granted, that didn't stop people.  I wanted to punch those people, but whatever.  You're also not supposed to talk inside the Sistene chapel but that also didn't stop people.  I swear, people suck.  I'm sorry were the 20 signs in like 5 different languages and very clear pictures not enough for you? Or, do you think you're above rules?  Whatever.  It was gorgeous.  My neck still kind of hurts from looking at it.  It's actually a pretty interesting story.  So a few centuries ago, before the pilgrims had hunkered down with the Indians over popcorn and poultry, Pope Sixtus ordered the Sistene chapel built.  So it's built.  Later, some other Pope held another competition (it's a Pope thing) open to 16 different artists.  They were all invited to come and paint the walls of the Sistene chapel, half with stories about Jesus and half with stories about Moses.  Mikey wasn't one of them, he was only two at the time.  30 or so years later, another pope calls on Mikey to fresco the rather boring ceiling of the chapel.  Mikey says no.  "I'm a sculptor, not a painter, I can't and won't fresco the Sistene Chapel."  So the Pope pulls, the "umm, but I'm the Pope" card and Mikey has to do it.  So as we've discussed, fresco is hard.  Mikey has NEVER done fresco before.  So he argues with the Pope (who is this guy) about which stories will be on the ceiling that will "inspire people to believe in God again" but also offer a story about how it's ok if Mikey is bad at frescoes (which he's not).  He gets "The Drunkenness of Noah" in there, to mention how even the best people mess up sometimes.  It takes him four years, but he does it.  He works his way from the back of the Chapel to the front, getting better with time, learning more about fresco.  He walks away satisfied at a job well done, and goes back to sculpting.  Another 30 or so years later, another Pope calls on Mikey to paint the back? wall.  "Mikey, my man, people are pretty terrible.  No one is living a Christian lifestyle, I need you to paint something that will strike the fear of God into people's hearts."  So, in what Mikey thought was going to be his last great piece of art (he wasn't expecting to live to 89) he paints the back wall of the Sistene Chapel.  By this time he's very accomplished at fresco.  He has mastered drawing/sculpting/painting the male form (he didn't use female models (Raphy used female prostitutes, he wasn't very popular with the Vatican)).  There are over 300 individual forms in this painting, in which angels are reading from two books: a small one, of names of people who are going to Heaven (some with the help of their rosaries), and a large one, of names of people going to Hell.  Mikey didn't have a lot of faith in people.  There are some saints in there, like the one who was grilled alive, skinned alive, tortured on a wheel, etc.  So he finishes, and some bishop has the audacity to say "I don't like it.  Too many naked people."  So Mikey gets pissed (as he's apt to do) breaks in to the Vatican one night (as he's also apt to do) and paints this bishop in Hell, naked, with donkey ears and snake wrapped around him biting his man-junk.  The next morning the Bishop sees the picture, runs to the Pope (who was a fan of Mikey's work) and says "Look!  Father, Look!  Look what Michael did" and the Pope says "Nothing I can do.  Had he painted you in Heaven, then maybe I could have done something, but the Pope has no say in Hell." 

Moving out of the Sistene chapel, we entered St. Peters Basilica.  The largest church in the world.  It was amazing.  I've never felt closer to God, and I'm not even Catholic.  I'm excited to return next year to sing mass with the WnL Choir.  Instead of describing this place, let me just post a video of, what I hope, is a great approximation of my best experience in the church.

OK, so it's on the wrong side for now,  It's a little after one, so I'll fix it as soon as I can.  Also, in case you didn't get it, there were these two very distinct and clear beams of light coming in through the dome in the Basilica down to the ground in the middle of the Isle.  Naturally, I walked into one, looked into the light, was blinded by said light, took a few steps forward to see the glory of the Alter and the church appear around me out of nowhere.  And naturally,  I took a few steps back, pulled out my camera and did it again (I'm always thinking of my readers).   Meanwhile, here is a picture of the gang and Aunt Maggie.  And a panorama of St. Peter's Basilica.

Us, and the ex-chem teacher, tour-guide by day, Irish Pub bartender by night.

Bonus artsy pic for making it this far.  THE CROSS IS IN THE SUN!  I'M AWESOME!

 Cheers to the daily adventure!  (Tomorrow, 2 walking tours through Rome.  And an Island!)